Teenage Children

Young teens are teenage children, not young adults

I have found it really helpful with my kids, as they’ve gone through adolescence, to remember that they are still children. They may be teenagers but they are still essentially children. It is not until they are 17+ (depending on the teen) that you can begin to say they are becoming adults.

It is actually very hard to know when we become adults. When I look back on my own adolescence I can’t remember a time when I really felt that I finally was an adult. In fact, I don’t think I felt I was really grown up until I hit my 40’s (and not even then sometimes!)

If you can see your young teenager as a combination of an older child and a young adult, it makes it easier to accept their behavior. Teenagers are often self absorbed, uncommunicative, messy, stressy and difficult to live with. However, they still need your love and attention just as much, if not more, than when they were younger. Finding ways to connect with and appreciate your teenager will help to maintain a good relationship with each other.

Establishing real connection also provides better stress management for teenagers. When there is a good connection between you, your teenager will feel freer to talk to you and discuss his problems with you. Communication is a great form of stress relief and helps to establish a good relationship between you. It also gives each of you a chance to express your feelings about each other and how you feel about what is happening in your lives.

Let your teenager know that you are there for him, that you love him and that you are doing your best to understand him. This will go a long way towards giving you a more relaxed relationship with each other and it will help him to feel supported through the stressful changes he is experiencing.

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